Great work! I love Maddie's inner monologue, she's a very fun read and it keeps the whole experience fresh until the end. When reading the rules of the jam I thought a lot about unselectable options, and they work really well here: the whole process of being in pain, coming to terms with that pain and starting to mend feels very well represented in the (non) choices that become available with each round, and the interactions that follow. I may or may not have teared up a bit at the end. Again: great work!
Much time was spent on this, both your writing (I can tell) and on the reading. In fact if I have any criticism, it’s that there are a lot of words here.
That’s not a problem in and of itself, but it did make it hard to tell if anything had changed on Round 2. In fact, I thought at first that I’d just gone back to the start. Yes, the choice of drink changed, but it had been so long since I’d read the first choice that I couldn’t tell that the second was different … hope that makes sense! :)
Anyway, onto the story itself. It’s not my usual sort of thing, and yet I liked it. The switch to the yellow for the memories was a nice touch, and I can see there’s an intention to have those be something you can explore more in a later version of the game. Maddie is a mess and the lack of choice actually expresses that perfectly. You can see the choices she should make, right there, and the game won’t let you make them, because she’s so messed up. It’s an effective tactic.
Small technical note: You can use a [[]] style link inside a <<button>>. e.g.
Thanks for playing and reviewing! I'm glad there were parts that you could engage with
And thanks for the feedback on round 2. I had been worried there wasn't enough variation but ran out of time before the end of the jam do to anymore editing. It's definitely an area that'll get attention in an update to the game.
I shall research your technical note! This was my first Twine game and I'd used a template to get me going as I have very little in the way of html/java/css skills. Thank you!
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This was phenomenal, i dont even know what else to say. Just a strong self reflective story , you did amazing
Oh, gosh, thank you! This story is very dear to my heart and I'm glad you enjoyed it
Just played this and it was so goooood, the humor was great (I adore Seven <3) and the emotions hit perfectly. 🥺 Loved the cycling, very effective!!
Aww, thank you! I'm glad to see Seven getting some love. He was a much needed foil 😆 Thanks for playing!
Great work! I love Maddie's inner monologue, she's a very fun read and it keeps the whole experience fresh until the end. When reading the rules of the jam I thought a lot about unselectable options, and they work really well here: the whole process of being in pain, coming to terms with that pain and starting to mend feels very well represented in the (non) choices that become available with each round, and the interactions that follow. I may or may not have teared up a bit at the end. Again: great work!
Thank you for your review and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Much time was spent on this, both your writing (I can tell) and on the reading. In fact if I have any criticism, it’s that there are a lot of words here.
That’s not a problem in and of itself, but it did make it hard to tell if anything had changed on Round 2. In fact, I thought at first that I’d just gone back to the start. Yes, the choice of drink changed, but it had been so long since I’d read the first choice that I couldn’t tell that the second was different … hope that makes sense! :)
Anyway, onto the story itself. It’s not my usual sort of thing, and yet I liked it. The switch to the yellow for the memories was a nice touch, and I can see there’s an intention to have those be something you can explore more in a later version of the game. Maddie is a mess and the lack of choice actually expresses that perfectly. You can see the choices she should make, right there, and the game won’t let you make them, because she’s so messed up. It’s an effective tactic.
Small technical note: You can use a [[]] style link inside a <<button>>. e.g.
Thanks for playing and reviewing! I'm glad there were parts that you could engage with
And thanks for the feedback on round 2. I had been worried there wasn't enough variation but ran out of time before the end of the jam do to anymore editing. It's definitely an area that'll get attention in an update to the game.
I shall research your technical note! This was my first Twine game and I'd used a template to get me going as I have very little in the way of html/java/css skills. Thank you!